How Zombies and Babies Are Alike!

My excitement as at a high peak with the impending arrival of tonight's mid season premiere of The Walking Dead. For months I have replaying Beth's untimely cliff hanging demise in my head as I've been caring for my 9 month old. The more recap marathons we've watched, the more abundantly clear it has become to me that zombies and babies are very similar beings. Let me illustrate how: 

1. They're pale. Let's start with the obvious, they both need a tan. Zombies have a lack of blood flow after turning which has left their lifeless bodies lackluster white. Babies can't go in the sun because their fresh skin is too delicate, thus leaving them pasty.

2. They walk like drunk people. Babies are clearly not drunk but rather lacking fine motor skills as their tiny bodies grow. Zombies, may or may not have been drunk when they turned, but something about becoming lifeless has left them unable to walk upright or in a straight line. 

3. Their "speech" is undecipherable. Having lost all brain function has zombies unable to formulate words. Babies on the other hand don't know how to say words yet, so they often just grunt. In either case, they both make noise that is equally as moan like as it impossible to understand.

4. They don't discriminate what they out in their mouths. A zombie's quest for blood and a baby's undeveloped taste buds leave a plethora of victims in their wake. People, pets and (most recently from my son) lint from a garbage are no match for these two. If they can grab it, it goes in their mouth. Watch out for teething babies though, those suckers are sharp! 

5. They are disease ridden. Some, if not all, zombies carry a disease. I mean, they're undead, they didn't just wake up that way. One passes it to another, to another and before you know it, they're all infected. No herd immunity there. Babies on the other hand seem to be magnets for disgusting. They're constantly sharing their runny noses on the playground and if your kid is in daycare, forget about it... Just lick their little fingers and succumb to the strep throat now. 

6. They're unaffected by injury. How many times have you seen a zombie shot in movie just to see it get back up? It's crazy, just like watching my son stand up and fall flat on his face, time and time again, just to get back up. This kid has fallen off the couch, been stepped on by the dog and face planted a wall in pursuit of walking, unscathed. Apparently, they are rubber and we are the glue. 

Watch this clip, hilarious! http://youtu.be/Zohqw7RTeSQ 

7. They react to lights and sounds. Since zombies are dead so they rely on theses signals to attract them to their food. When seeing light or hearing loud sounds, they react by hunting, hoping to find some delectable flesh. Babies LOVE lights and sounds. As their senses develop the more flashy the lights or energetic the sounds, the more likely a baby is to react with playfulness. If you want to hide from a zombie or your baby, move slowly and quietly in a dark room. 

There you have it, how I have noticed my son is like that if the undead! 

Sunday Summary - 10.5.14

Alright, I haven't posted all week but you should hear why. So, I'm starting a new weekly piece called, Sunday Summary. And, you guessed it.... It's a recap of my personal week. 

I feel like I put a lot out there about things I'm creating or observing. Seldom does it actually cover me and my personal life. Maybe you don't want to hear it but I find true life pretty inspirational. Quite possibly, you might find it too. 

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This week was a dousy! Where to start.... Well, my parents were in France so we had Mardi full time while they were gone. I knew this was going to be different since he hadn't stayed with us for a long period of time since we had Hay. Honestly, there was something so gentle and sweet about his demeanor with him that I trusted him more that Briscoe. The first couple days were awesome but that's about where the peaceful harmony ended and our daily routine was flipped upside down. 

D left for Orlando on Monday to attend a work conference. A trip I was going to attend until we started doing the math on how much it would cost to bring H. My flight, everything H would require and 3 days of boarding two dogs would be the difference of at least $1000. It wasn't worth it, not now anyway. He was going to be gone until Wedsnesday but plans change. 

After running errands and feeling quite on top of my game, I settle in to Monday night. There I sat with my dinner on the table and my fresh copy of "Gone Girl". With my fork in one hand, I cracked the perfect binding in my other. Then the light flickers. I thought the bulb must just be going dim so I let it go and continue on. A few hours later, I flipped the bathroom light on to wash my hands and bam, the powers out. Well, only half of it but don't worry it was just the important half. You know the bathroom, kitchen, furnace and hot water heater! Three days, $125, about a dozen phone calls to DTE and two electrician visits later, my husband catches an early flight home and fixes it in less than 15 minutes. That's why I love him. 

Meanwhile, as all of this is going on I'm ill. Like the kind of ill where even the best drugs can't keep you awake. There was one point, where I seriously questioned my ability to parent. That's when I called my sister-in-law to watch H so I could go to urgent care. Where I received the worst medical treatment I've experienced and was sent home with a "let it ride". Fine. Five days later, I still feel horrible. Thanks. 

To top off my disaster of existence this week, my son has sleep regression. Not sure if it's teething, which he diligently points out to me every 10 minutes by hanging his tiny fingers from his sore gums and looking at me with puppy dog eyes. "The drool gave it away buddy, but I'll do the best I can to help you", I think to myself everytime. It could also be the progressive feeding schedule I have put him on (he loves mangos) or his over stimulated little brain wanting to explore more than the day offered. I only think this because one day this week he woke at 3 a.m., bright eyed and bushy tailed and cheerfully talked to his feet for hours. Whatever is going on, I hope it ends sooner rather than later. Mommy needs her beauty sleep to counteract the wine. 

Ugh. It was a damn fiasco. One thing after another. By the time the weekend hit, I was just exhausted but had to have my car fixed instead. What's that expression, when it rains it pours?! 

Today, I finally got out of the house and enjoyed some fun. I took H to my friend Jen's son's 8th birthday in the park. Bryce seemed to have a pretty good turn out, despite the sudden chill to the air and I put H in a swing for the first time. He was indifferent about the movement but wanted to put the seat in his mouth. It was pretty cute. After that, we went on a little shopping spree at Buy Buy Baby where he got a new massaging teether and teething q-tips. Hallelujah! 

Two super awesome fun things that happened this week, babies! My love Katy had her adorable baby boy Logan Paul who is officially H's BFF. He came out, after a stubborn day of labor at an unexpectedly 7 lbs 12 oz and 21 inches long. We really thought he was going to be a whopper, thankfully for his mama he was the perfect size. He's adorable and snuggly and I can't wait to get back over there to see him!

Then my friend Andrea have birth to her beautiful baby girl Nina Antoinette who will be Marnie's future BFF. I am itching to meet all 7 lbs 1 oz and 19 inches of her. She's also got a full thick head of hair in pictures and is just absolutely adorable. Oh babies, so many wonderful additions to the world! 

So there's my week. Sigh. I can't wait to get into tomorrow and knock off all my final details for the reception and get some writing done. 

Until next time!

(which will probably be a LOT more in the near future)

This is the start of something good!

As a philanthropic minded person, I always knew teaching my children to be a charitable was important. I just never knew it wouldn start so young! But when my mom shared with me a blog, I could not turn down such a cool opportunity.  

Joan Meyers, a local photographer in Plymouth, Michigan, probably didn't realize her passion project would ignite giving back at a very young age. She has been a professional photographer for a number of years but very recently acquired her own studio space. When she open the doors, she couldn't help but offer an opportunity to help others in need. For what seems like a small donation of a blanket, she is offering a complementary photo session of your child and an 8 x 10 print.  

Her unique black-and-white portrait style, shot on 35 mm film, quite possibly can change a child's life. In actuality, probably two. Every blanket donated goes to "Project Night Night" which provides night time materials to homeless children in our area ages 0-10. It's not just blankets, it's books and stuffed animals too. Items that children thrive on for comfort in a time when they are scared, insecure and in need. My favorite part is that the items stay local. You can check out more information on the project here: 

http://projectnightnight.org

In addition to helping those homeless children, you're teaching the subjects too! By that I mean, when I pack my son up (when he's a little older) with blankets to give away, he's going to ask why. It's in those moments, parents who participate can share with them the importance of supporting those in need and giving what you're able to your community. 

In a world where being seen a "charitable" is dumping ice over your head on social media or texting in a $1.00 to an unknown recipient, teaching the next generation to go the extra mile might save humanity. At the very least it will teach them humility. On the plus side, you're getting an adorable photo of your kids. 

Go Joan M. Photography & thank you for making this your mission! 

http://joanmphotography.com